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Beyond Pronatalism
Finding fulfillment, with or without kids
To have or not have kids is one of the biggest decisions we make in our lives, and yet how many of us know that we even have a choice about how we define and create our families? Beyond Pronatalism host Nandita Bajaj interviews people from diverse backgrounds who are courageously and creatively navigating pronatalism - the powerful pressures to have children - whether from family, friends, or the culture at large. Through intimate conversations, they discuss how they are forging unconventional pathways to fulfillment, including redefining what family means to them - whether that means being childfree or childless, having biological children, adopting or fostering children or animals, or creating close-knit communities of friends and loved ones.
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Episodes
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Kat | A Black Feminist Upbringing
Raised in a Black feminist family of highly educated women committed to service, Kat Calvin grew up without the pressure to marry or have children. Single and childfree, Kat channels her time and energy into projects that make a difference - building a life of purpose, freedom, and joy.
Paddy | Joyfully Rejecting the System
Paddy’s emotionally-detached boarding school upbringing left him distrustful of authority, including the unspoken expectation to have children. A growing awareness of ecological and social crises and the desire to break a cycle of generational family trauma led him to choose a vasectomy. Today, he and his wife enjoy a joyful childfree life while standing up to oppressive systems.
Luke and Stefanie | The Simple Joys of a Childfree Life
Luke and Stefanie reflect on how, free from strong family or religious pressure and true to their own desires, they were able to make an early, mutual decision to live childfree. They reflect on the enormous emotional weight they've seen parents carry and express a profound relief and gratitude that they can enjoy meaningful, well-lived, childfree lives in kinship with the natural world.
Elizabet | Confessions of a Regretful Mother
Elizabet, the daughter of Bulgarian immigrants in the Czech Republic, shares her experience of coming out as gay in her teens and raising a child alone. She now speaks openly about her parental regret, rooted in her worry for both her child's future and her deep love for the natural world and concern for its destruction.
Chetana | The Gift of Biological Childlessness
A childhood illness leaves Chetana unable to give birth. After enduring the pronatalist shame of biological childlessness for many years, she reflects on the possibilities this opened up for her, and how many women are denied those possibilities by pronatalism.
Bob | An Adoptee’s Journey of Self-Discovery
Born to a barmaid and adopted into a Southern Baptist home at the age of 6, Bob struggled with forming attachments. At 74, Bob reflects on the unconventional pathway his life took and what it took to find himself.
Jane | An OB-GYN on the Lack of True Choice
Jane went into obstetrics and gynecology after her own terrifying pregnancy experience. Now a fulfilled single mother of two, she shares her observations on the pressures women experience to have children, on the ethics of having children amid global ecological crisis, and on her own fight against the pronatalism of her profession.
Mariko | Mixed-Race and Childfree
Raised by a Japanese father and a German mother in two contrasting cultural settings, Mariko always had the alienating sense of not quite fitting in. To spare their children the same unease, and to follow their personal life passions, she and her partner choose the childfree path.
Olivia | The Fear of Missing Out on Family
Olivia and her husband are both fairly certain they don’t want biological children, but they deeply value family and are afraid they’ll miss out. The challenges of the adoption process have thrown them into a state of uncertainty about how to have the family they crave, while staying true to their convictions.
Nicole | The Rich Lives of Women Without Kids
Nicole grew up in a traditional household in Brazil, but knew from an early age that motherhood was not for her. When she found herself with a partner who decided he did want kids, she embarked on a journey of discovery about the many pathways life could take outside of our reproductive capacity. This journey included not only deep self-reflection, but interviewing 14 incredible women and publishing a book that tells their stories.
Melissa | The Joys of the “Empty Nest”
Following in the footsteps of her grandparents, Melissa gave birth to four kids in rapid succession. She found raising children to be incredibly rewarding, yet wishes she had first taken the time to discover herself. As an empty nester, she is finally finding that time.
Juan Camilo | Childfree Biologist on Eco-Crises
Juan Camilo made a decision when he was a teenager that he would not bring children into a world where they would suffer. Despite the pressures of living in conservative Colombia, he has stuck to his convictions, and he continues teaching his biology students about the dangers of human overpopulation.
Milly & Mik | The Joys & Challenges of Adoption
Raised in disparate cultures across the world, Milly and Mik had different ideas about what kind of family they wanted. But there was one thing they agreed on: adoption (of three dogs and a child!) was the way to go!
Laura | Escaping Trad Wife Culture
Raised in the conservative Deep South of the United States, Laura always believed having kids was a requirement. When she found out it was optional, suddenly everything changed.
Ash | Rejecting Mormonism and Motherhood
A Mormon upbringing, an accidental pregnancy, and lack of access to abortion services drove Ash to bear a child against her wishes. Committed to taking back her stolen autonomy, Ash takes a surprising path.
Hans-Peter | Vasectomy as a Gift of Love
Raised in a small Catholic village in Germany, Hans Peter had always questioned traditional norms. Concerned about the ecological crisis and threats to women's reproductive rights, he gifted himself a vasectomy on his 25th birthday. Today he spends his time with his wife joyfully nurturing the planet.
Sara | The Relief of IVF Failure
Unable to have children naturally, Sara went through a harrowing IVF journey, only to realize following her unsuccessful treatments that she had never wanted children and had just escaped from a painfully pronatalist trap.
Tania and Brian | Healing Together with Animals
Deeply in love with each other and their 38 animals, Tania and Brian share their vastly different upbringing that set them on their childfree paths. Tania and her family moved to the U.S. on asylum from Ukraine post-Chernobyl. Brian grew up in a Latino/Native American family in Texas, U.S. with severely limited resources. Their love for animals brought them together.
Vincie | Disrupting Family Expectations
Born and raised in densely-populated Hong Kong and having lived in different parts of the world, Vincie was always deeply concerned about the plight of children. She wrestled with traditional family norms and gender roles within Asian culture and arrived at a more liberated decision to not have biological children.
Lili | Escaping the Dread of Motherhood
Born and raised in Haiti, and now living in the US, Lili shares her story about her pronatalist upbringing in which having large families was the norm. After many years of dreading motherhood, she learned about the choice to not have children. Today, Lili is happily childfree and is using her spare time and resources to support others in her family and community.
Episodes will be released every two weeks, beginning Tuesday, July 30 2024, and will be available on Apple podcasts, Spotify, and all podcast platforms.
Producer and Host: Nandita Bajaj
Production Team: Josh Wild, Alan Ware
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