While those of us without children are frequently warned of the possibility of regretting their absence, a story we don’t often hear is of the parents who regret having children. In this episode with Israeli sociologist Dr. Orna Donath, we unpack her groundbreaking work on this highly stigmatized topic of motherhood regret. Orna helps us understand the distinctions between ambivalence and regret, as well as non-natalism and anti-natalism.

We also discuss her thoughts on the stringent control that society has over our emotions and actions, specifically as they relate to procreative decisions. From voluntary childlessness to the influence of neoliberalism on feminist thought, we end with reflection on how pronatalism is inherently oppressive and a cause for much confusion and suffering for parents and non-parents alike, while also being ecologically destructive.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Book: Regretting Motherhood: A STUDY By Orna Donath (2017)

• Article: Social Devices for Impelling Women to Bear and Rear Children by Leta S. Hollingworth (1916)

• Book: Pricing the Priceless Child: The Changing Social Value of Children by Viviana A. Zelizer (1994)

• Article: Pronatalism Is Violence Against Women: The Role of Genetics by Laura Purdy (2019)

• Article: Emotion Work, Feeling Rules, and Social Structure by Arlie Russell Hochschild (1979)

• Article: The Powerful, Complicated Legacy of Betty Friedan’s ‘The Feminine Mystique’ (2021)

• Patricia Hill Collins

• Book: Of Woman Born Motherhood as Experience and Institution by Adrienne Rich (1976, 2021)

• Episode: Dr. Kimya Nuru Dennis | The Unique Challenges of Being Black and Childfree

• Book: The Land Is Full Addressing Overpopulation in Israel by Alon Tal

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